The man comes out with so many classics its hard to remember them all, please send any that you love, that we don't have to pilky01@hotmail.com. For another massive list, go to Wikiquote here...

From Series 3:

"I saw a bee have a heart attack..."

"Ants, trying to look busy if front of his mates..."

"If you haven't got eyes, you shouldn't have wings..."

"Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot..."

"He was so hot, his lips fell off..."

"Nuts. It's a foodage..."

"If you shave a tiger's head, its still stripey underneath..."

"It's the way they say the 'new' pope... he's hardly new is he? Me Dad can't even get a gig in B&Q and he's only 60..." Sent in by John Mattinson.

"What I mean is, I don't know what I mean..." Quality from Podcast 12 sent in by Jim Mallender.

"I've got like restless leg syndrome and i went to the doctor and he told me to eat less ice cream..."

"They say there are six senses. There's loads more than that..."

"When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep..."

"Well, you're okay, but your hands needs to come of..."

"So they put the manhole cover on top of the atom bomb, blew it up, and they never saw the manhole cover again ... bit weird innit?"

On searching on the internet:
"I think I put in WHY? ... to see if I could confuse the computer.."

"Why do caterpillars have so many feet if they don't know where they're going and that...?"

Questions Karl would ask Siamese twins:

"How can you buy her a birthday present?"

"If one got into crime, right, and was sent to prison... what would happen?"

"What do they talk about? Because, it's not as if you can say... 'guess what I did today...?'"

On Ricky Gervais not washing his hands:
"I know I prefer to have lemon cake crumbs on my head, than knob juice..."

"How can you freeze time?"

"One day "they" say that you'd be able to wake up, 'ave summat to eat, and 'ave a chat with a yogurt... you know those 'friendly' yogurts? Well this is an even friendlier one..."

"They say they've got a new Pope. Well, he's hardly new is he? They're taking on old people. My dad can't even get a gig at B&Q..."

"What I mean is that how some people can easily get mixed up. How people are scared of, like, a cyclops, when at the end of the day, he's got a disability... What's so ridiculous about a fella with one eye? If he had eight eyes I'd be scared..."

"Walking to work today....homeless guy called me a dickhead..."

"You'll never see an old person eating a Twix, but they always buy ornaments..."

"British judges wear wigs to conceal their identity..."

"If you live in a glass house you've got to answer the door..."

"There's a foot long spider that eats chicken..."

"You never see a black ghost, do you...?"

"There's this hairy Chinese kid..."

"Knowledge is almost annoying..."